Saturday, December 22, 2012

F you, low blood sugar

Went out and about today, shopping and looking for adoptable puppies. Stopped at our fav sushi place for dinner. Blood sugar check in restaurant: 68. Didn't feel at symptoms til I saw the number.

Now that doesn't seem super low, but man it was a beast to get my sugar back up, and the physical symptoms lasted forever! Which of course, increased y anxiety. Overall a miserable almost-hour waiting to get back to "normal".

We got our sushi to go, and when I felt better, ate it at home.

I hate you diabetes. I am grateful you're manageable.

XOXO,
Ashley

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Satisfaction

Had a GREAT check up with my endocrinologist last Thursday.  She said everything was great on paper, and I looked great and that it was nice to have a compliant, successful patient!

So nice to hear.  A great way to kick off a 3 day weekend to Orange Beach!  We had the best time.

My primary care physician wants to check my A1C again in 3 months, but my endo won't see me again until July.  She gave me the option to come back in a year, but I'm just not quite ready to make that jump.

XOXO,
Ashley





Thursday, November 29, 2012

You win some, you lose some

Nothing like a day of battling HIGH blood sugar as a consequence of a steroid shot to combat a miserable sinus infection.  Head feels 100 times better, blood sugars kicking my ass.

My numbers have barely been under 200 all day, some even going in the 300s.  NOT usually how I roll.

Playing with injections, blowing through test strips, with little improvement.

MD said to correct with meals, not with bedtime shot, and stay hydrated and everything should return to normal in a few days.

SO annoying, these numbers don't usually show up on my meter.  Again, no rhyme or reason with this disease. 

Goal: To return to "normal" numbers by bedtime.

P.S. Geaux Saints!


XOXO,
Ashley

Sunday, November 11, 2012

Ashley, Drink Your Juice

That was my official team name for the New Orleans JDRF Walk to Cure Diabetes!  Shout out to one of my fav movies, Steel Magnolias for the inspiration.

As a team, we raised $900.  150% of my goal set for $500!

http://www2.jdrf.org/site/TR?team_id=71407&fr_id=1825&pg=team

http://www2.jdrf.org/site/TR?px=2842521&fr_id=1825&pg=personal

I was so touched by the generous donations given financially, and the time also donated by those who were able to join me for the walk.

Of all the charities and causes people could donate to, they chose to contribute to my cause.

Of all the expenses we face in our lives, they chose to contribute to my cause.

It's an amazing feeling.  I have an amazing support system.

It was a beautiful fall day in New Orleans, so much energy in the air.  So much hope for a life changing disease that I've been fortunate enough to develop as an adult, versus as a child. 

So many young children deal with this day to day.  So many parents live in fear of the one low blood sugar that their child won't recover from.  I do believe the hope for a cure keeps us ALL going. 

The walk was fun and refreshing and a great reason to get together and chit chat.  The after party was really nice, so many generous sponsors providing great snacks and such!

Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Looking forward to next year!  I'll document better next year, slacked with the pic taking this year!  I guess I was too busy taking it all in....

Love,
Ashley

Some of the best friends a girl could ask for


Post walk pic with one of my lifelong best friends Jamie


Our niece Lucy, my youngest and cutest supporter!


Team Ashley Drink Your Juice, minus a few who had walked away prior to picture time    



Sunday, September 9, 2012

What a difference a year makes....

Well, as expected, I'm a terrible blogger.  I don't seem to have the wit, circumstances, or drive to post weekly, monthly, let alone daily.  Though there are several blogs I follow who are able to post interesting reads daily!

August 29th was a big day for my household for several reasons:
1.  7 year anniversary of Hurricane Katrina
2.  Hurricane Isaac actively hit Louisiana
3.  My 1 year anniversary of meeting my endocrinologist and starting my insulin regime

A whole stinkin' year to adjust to my new normal.  And boy has it been an adjustment.

Not only have I been dealing with daily diabetes management, I've also been dealing with anxiety.  I thought I knew what was triggering it, but now I'm not sure, as I've had several instances lately that seemingly come out of nowhere. 

I've been to a therapist, which I actually enjoyed, but after 3 visits I ran out of things to talk with her about and haven't been back.  When I stopped going my anxiety was way down, but seems to be creeping back up.  I feel like I basically have generalized anxiety disorder.

For example, 4 am last night I wake up with my heart racing in the 120s.  I wasn't dreaming about anything upsetting, seemed to be sleeping pretty well.  1 xanax and the company of the hubs later, I slept like a rock.  Then woke up with a blood sugar of 60.  60 is pretty low for me, and I felt somewhat "off" but other than that had no symptoms.  That double whammy has me feeling like a lethargic slug today.

I hate feeling like that, and my MD has written me a prescription for Celexa, but I've been hesitant to take it.  I also went to a new PCP this week, as my former one retired, and he ran routine blood work as part of my check up.  If nothing shows up in that blood work to explain the way I feel sometimes, I think I'll just start the Celexa.  As my BFF's Dr husband reassured me a few months ago, just because a drug is called an antidepressant, it doesn't mean I'm taking it because I'm depressed. It's the anti-anxiety component that I need.  And hopefully it'll be a temporary fix that "breaks the cycle" and I can stop it sometime and be done with these awful feelings.  Also, just talking to friends, family, and acquaintances, it seems almost everyone I know is on or has taken something similar.  Ideally I'd like to be taking as little medication as possible, but we'll see how things keep going.

I feel that I have a decent grasp on my diabetes management, still using multiple injections daily versus a pump management system and it seems to work for me so far.  There are times though when I'm prepping to give myself a shot and I stop and think "I'm going to have to do this for the rest of my life?"  And that's fine- because it means I'm alive.  But it's a sometimes overwhelming thought.  And damn, it sucks, and certain spots hurt more than others, and certain areas bleed, and my stomach looks it's been used for a punching bag at times.  But I'm managing.  And I have an amazing support system of family, friends, co-workers... couldn't ask for better.

Of course there are days when I miss ordering a milkshake, or getting my beloved cookie dough Blizzard during our trips to Missouri.  Those are truly some of the only items I have denied myself since diagnosis, because the amount of insulin I'd have to shoot to cover something like that is a bit ridiculous if I follow a carb to insulin ratio (something I'm not too great with yet, cause I haven't bothered to learn).  Then I see all of these awesome looking desserts on Pinterest and decide not to pin them, but honestly, I'd probably never make them anyways.  And there are days when my numbers just don't make sense.  I take a little extra insulin to cover what seems to be a carb filled dinner and I go low, yet taking a unit lower wouldn't cover it and result in higher numbers than I'd like?  No rhyme or reason.

So, 1 year down, 1 year wiser, 1 year older. 

Hopefully I won't always have to write about my diabetes-versay, because hopefully one day we will have a cure.  The JDRF is doing some amazing things out there, among other research institutions.  I've signed up to participate in a research trial about driving with diabetes to determine and prevent risks associated with type 1 diabetics and driving.  Thankfully I've never experienced a hypoglycemic event while driving, or sleeping.  And the New Orleans JDRF Walk for Diabetes is coming up in November and I plan on participating and fundraising.  Keep an eye out for that coming soon!

Take care of your health, it is precious.

No, I can't just take the pills, diet, or exercise my diabetes away.  I have type 1, my pancreas doesn't work!

Thanks for a year of love and support!

XOXO,
Ashley


Thursday, July 5, 2012

Latest A1C....

6!! Down from 6.1, one step closer to my "under 6" goal.

In other news, I suck at maintaining a blog. 

And my anxiety has been through the roof!  Working on that....

Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Nothing like waking up with a full blown panic attack....

Heart POUNDING, racing, sweating, nauseous, enlarged pupils.

First instinct is to check the blood sugars- no issues there, pretty normal

Next, try to talk self into calming down.  Definitely doesn't work.

Then, sit in bathroom, continue to feel heart race.  Check BP- HR in 150s, can't even remember the actual pressure.. 145/something.

Furiously call parents, no answer, cause they're asleep.  Debate calling 911.

Fumble for xanax, did I take a half or a whole?  Don't know.

Call the hubs in London, start crying, make husband worry because he's not here.  Husband and xanax combo starts to calm me down.  "Aftershock" shaking begins.

And almost 2 hours later, I'm awake, admittedly somewhat afraid to go back to sleep.  HR back in the 80s, BP normal.

This is a terrible feeling, but it's passed.

Love my husband.

XOXO,
Ashley

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

1st "Diabetic" Eye Exam...

came back NORMAL! 

So nice to hear the word "normal" since I don't ever feel normal.

The Dr. even did a nice job of explaining what effect blood sugars have on the eyes and why the yearly exams are important.

Worst part- took FOREVER for my pupils to return to a normal size.  Surely my patients must have noticed, but none of them said anything!

XOXO,

Ashley

Friday, April 27, 2012

Things I hate...

Having a low blood sugar moment and having to scarf something with sugar in it down....

Candy, cake, juice, donuts, a regular soda, stuff I don't normally include in my day to day eating, and not being able to enjoy it because I'm too worried about bringing my blood sugar back up.

Then repeatedly checking my numbers to make sure they went up.

Then watching them rise because I overcompensated.

Luckily these moments are few and far between.

XOXO,
Ashley

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Lazy blogger

Well I've already started slacking on my blogging.

Finished my shingles medicine yesterday.  They seem to be clearing up, or running their course, or whatever they do.  I have to say I enjoyed my 3 days off with literally nothing to do.  Glad I was able to spend them at home with my parents since the hubs was gone!

The hubs is back at least!

Blood sugars are back to normal!

I've got nothing witty or informative to say today!

XOXO,
Ashley

Monday, April 9, 2012

26 going on.... 80

So, I definitely have shingles. 
The dormant virus that causes chickenpox... that can become active again at any time.
Often seen in people over 60.
Or in those who have a weakened immune system.

And to think I was happy to get carded at the casino yesterday. The guard told me I looked 18... 3 days before I turn 27.  Then come today, I find out I have shingles.  Blah!

I read a variety of type 1 diabetic blogs, and a majority of them are written by PARENTS of children with diabetes.  Most who were diagnosed under the age of 4.  I am so very thankful to have been diagnosed with this at 26, instead of 6.  It's been a hard adjustment for me and I more or less understand what's going on!  I can't imagine worrying about your child who can't verbalize or understand what's going on. 

Soon after my diagnosis I developed anxiety.  I just didn't know it at first.  My heart would race, my stomach would hurt, I'd break out into a cold sweat, feel like I wasn't breathing right.  Scary stuff.  I actually ended up at the ER one night after a particularly bad one.  A few tests, $250 co-pay, and a IV shot of Ativan later I was on my way back home. 

Prior to the major panic attack, I went to a general practitioner regarding my symptoms.  On paper, it seemed thyroid related, and I was happy that he didn't write of my symptoms as anxiety right away.  I had chest x-rays, EKGs, a normal echocardiogram, a bubble echocardiogram, Halter monitoring, blood work.  Everything came back more or less normal. 

So anxiety it was, and my PCP wrote me a prescription for xanax to take on an as needed basis. 

What I think caused my anxiety, in no particular order:
1.  Wedding planning
2.  Thinking, if my pancreas suddenly stopped working, what else is going to just stop working?
3.  My new diagnosis
4.  Fear of dying in my sleep due to low blood sugars, even though I've never had a problem with overnight lows
5.  Trying to come to terms with the fact that I am dependent on a medicine to keep me alive, yet this same medicine could kill me if I took too much, or didn't eat enough to cover what I took, etc.  What if I was kidnapped and I ran out of insulin before anyone found me? (For real, that crossed my worried little mind)

Luckily, at my 3 month "just wanted to see how you're doing  since we diagnosed you" check up with my endocrinologist, I brought up my recently developed anxiety and she sat and talked with me for a good 30 minutes about how I had been feeling.  Even after she was running behind with her morning schedule because of car trouble or something that morning.  It really made me feel better about how I had been feeling. 

Thankfully, my anxiety has definitely decreased over the past few months.

XOXO,
Ashley

Blah

As you can imagine, diabetes can make simple situations more complicated.

For example, I haven't been feeling great for the past few days.  I developed a rash on my back, only on one side.  Thought I had a tag on a shirt that was irritating it but that wasn't the case.  Showed it to a nurse at work and our wound care PT.  Both thought it was just a contact rash, but PT said to watch out for shingles. 

Great.  Wouldn't be surprised, since my immune system seems to suck.  Consulted my BFF's husband who is a resident, and he didn't seem to think shingles.

Anyways, I'm running a low grade fever and generally feel crappy.  To top it off I watched my blood sugar rise from 129 to 179 without eating a thing in hours, well after my fast acting insulin would have worn off!  Which of course made me panic.  This is all still so new and so much affects blood sugar and there's so many things that could possibly be of concern when you're sick and have diabetes.  The BFF's hubby also assured me nothing I told him was overly concerning and to keep an eye on my numbers and call him later if needed.

Stayed at my parents for the night, since my hubs is out of town, and neither them (nor I) were wild about me being home alone in this unknown situation.  Plus, until recently I really had a fear that I'd die in my sleep (more on that in another post).  I'll go to the doctor tomorrow and take a sick day from work and make sure this rash is nothing.

XOXO,
Ashley

Saturday, April 7, 2012

Lessons learned

So, if you take anything away from my first post, it should be to GET REGULAR CHECK UPS.

When is the last time you've had fasting blood work done?

I'm so fortunate to have caught it when I did.  Most people don't find out until their blood glucose and A1C levels are extremely elevated.

So I started to tell people, primarily nurses where I work (!?!), here are a lot of the common responses I got:

1.  But you're too skinny to have diabetes. Type 2 is generally associated with overweight people, type 1 doesn't discriminate
2.  Well you must have eaten a lot of sugar.  Your mom must have given you a lot of sugar as a child. Etc. Eating sugar has nothing to do with what causes type 1 diabetes.
3.  Why can't you just take the oral medication?  I can't take oral medication because my pancreas produces little to no insulin.  The oral meds are used when your body produces insulin but doesn't know what to do with it.  Believe me, if there was a way to not take shots, I'd be taking the oral medications.
4.  You better not eat that cake, cookie, candy, etc.  Fortunately because I am insulin dependent, I can eat more or less whatever I want in moderation if I account for it with my insulin doses.  Should I eat pancakes for breakfast every morning?  No.  But honestly, neither should non-diabetics!
5.  How will this affect your ability to have a baby?  Honestly, it shouldn't, but I'm not sure what details, precautions, and preventative measures I will have to take. While it's not on my immediate radar, it's definitely on there.  I did find it funny that most of my close family and friends asked this question right off the bat.



 Here's the 2011 Diabetes Fact sheet, courtesy of the American Diabetes Association.  Interesting stuff, you should check it out.

Hope everyone has a happy Easter tomorrow!  Yes, I will indulge in a little bit of Easter candy!!
XOXO,Ashley

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Dia-what?

I've debated starting a blog since my diagnosis, so here we go....

The end of 2010, beginning of 2011 was a crazy time for me. 

I lost one grandma in August 2010, somewhat expected, but that doesn't make it any easier.


Then I lost my other grandma, my only remaining grandparent, suddenly in December 2010.  My heart was broken.  And to top it off I missed her wake due to a nasty 12 hour stomach bug.  Really a low point in my life.



Then 2011 rolls around, and my boyfriend J of, eh, 2.5ish years proposed in January and the insanity of being engaged set in.  

Mid-April/early May 2011: I just wasn't feeling RIGHT.  I was tired all the time.  I was never one to feel well rested, but this was almost extreme.  I was also getting feelings of heart palpitations, shortness of breath from time to time and overall didn't feel well.  One blood pressure check at work read high and a nurse suggested I go to a doctor because my symptoms could indicate a blood clot, especially since I was on birth control pills.

So I made an appointment ASAP.  I hadn't really been to a doctor in a few years, other than a gyno, because I was rarely sick, and I didn't have a primary care physician.  Luckily, I was able to make an appointment with a MD, Dr. M, who happened to be a distant family friend.  She took my BP, which was fine, but suggested I track it for a month, since high BP runs in my family.  She suggested fasting blood work since I hadn't had it done since maybe 2006.

Blood work was done and I got a letter in the mail stating that everything was fine, besides being slightly vitamin D deficient.  I was sure I was anemic, which would explain my fatigue.  Or that I had hypothyroidism, which would explain why I was working out and my weight wasn't budging.  But nothing came up.  I did have a follow up appointment in a month to report my BP readings.

I returned with my poorly tracked BP log, but it was all within normal range anyways.  While at the Dr's office, she reviewed my blood work and realized that my fasting blood glucose was 153- not normal.  So she did a finger stick in the office, 4 hours after I ate, 223.  Also not normal.  She told me these numbers indicated diabetes.  So she gave me a glucose monitor and had me monitor my blood sugar for about a month and a half, and scheduled a return appointment for repeated blood work.  She also set me up with a diabetic educator.  I remember heading the the gym afterwards and calling J, and crying when I said the D word.  He assured me we'd figure this out and get through it together.

So I didn't tell anyone except J, my co-workers, and some family.  I logged my blood sugars, which definitely weren't running normal.  I went back to Dr. M in August for repeated fasting blood work, an A1C (6.9 at diagnosis), Islet cell antibody test (20) and a C-peptide test (.8).  Of course these numbers meant nothing to be, but it confirmed what Dr. M suspected: type 1 diabetes.

I wasn't sure what to think.  As a health care professional, I was familiar with type 2 diabetes, and the complications that went along with poor management.  But type 1?  Why is this coming on now?

I was set up with an endocrinologist, Dr. D, Monday August 29th, and she started me on Humalog for my fast acting insulin, and Lantus for my slow acting, both in the epi-pen versions.  Dr. D is FANTASTIC.  She spent so much time with J and I at my first appointment explaining stuff and answering questions.  It was once thought that type 1 diabetes (juvenile diabetes) was something found only in children and had primarily a genetic component.  Now the thinking is that type 1 diabetes also has a viral component: I had some virus at some point, causing my immune system to go crazy, and attack my islet cells.  I hadn't really heard this before, but a friend of J's who was diagnosed in his mid-20s was told the same thing.  So basically anyone at anytime can be diagnosed a type 1 diabetic.  Only 5% of diagnosed diabetics have type 1.

My pancreas is working a little bit, but probably won't work for long.  Maybe it's unfair to call it lazy, but I like it.  So that's pretty much my diagnosis.  And it sucks.  But it's manageable.  And I'm not "fighting" for my life per say.  But I am dependent on insulin to keep me alive, and that's a hard pill to swallow (or injection to take, ha!)  More on that in future posts.  



XOXO, 

Ashley